My Story

Chronic. Of all the words that had been jokingly used to describe my voice—rough, smoker-like, sickly—this was by far the worst. Chronic. So cold. So direct. So permanent. For two years that word lingered in my head as questions began to arise as to what could have happened to cause my vocal cords to scar and tear. Medical professionals were also stunned by a condition so rare that they couldn’t give me a diagnosis. As with any chronic medical case, no treatment was promised to work.

I had known it to be a possibility that my voice would never fully heal, but the finality of my situation was daunting. My voice was something that I had learned to love about myself throughout my life. Its strong rasp commanded the attention of any room, making me feel powerful. It helped me to succeed in extracurriculars; in theater and mock trial, it gave my characters depth and draw. My voice was a part of my identity, and having it taken from me in a split second felt as though I had lost a part of who I am forever.

After receiving that heartbreaking news, my mind immediately began wandering about what was going to happen for the rest of my life. While my peers were cheering on our teams at football and soccer games, I would be signing hospital forms. While my fellow thespians were memorizing lines and auditioning for what could be their “big break,” I would be going into the operation room, being put to sleep by blurred, unfamiliar faces. While my friends were following their dreams, I would be sitting in my bed on vocal rest for what seemed like an eternity. It was when I felt I had everything I could ever want at the tips of my fingers that I lost it all. Or so I thought.

After feeling as though everything I have worked for up to this point in my life was worthless, I carried on with my vocal fold augmentation surgery. Deciding not to allow the rest of my life to be encompassed by my condition, I made a video to see the progress that my voice would make throughout my journey. Not expecting any sort of reaction from others, I posted that video on TikTok. I was shocked to see the sweeping results of a simple video about my situation. My post received more than 10 million views, and messages from people all around the world with similar vocal problems began flooding my inbox, each asking me for advice and telling me what a difference I had made for them by posting about my story. I was absolutely touched. I never imagined that the one setback I thought would ruin the rest of my life actually opened an entirely new window of opportunity for me. I continued posting updates about my situation and growing my fanbase in order to educate more people about vocal disabilities and to continue to tell my story.

I began my freshman year of college trying to figure out who I am and what my passion is outside of performing and public speaking. After countless anxiety-ridden thoughts about my future, I realized that I could still have an impactful voice in the world, regardless of my vocal cord disability. I decided to start with affecting change on my own campus by joining the writer’s team at my university’s published newspaper. As I began pitching ideas, publishing my articles, and even being recognized around campus, I came to realize that my writing had given me a voice even more powerful than the one I had lost. By telling people’s stories I quickly found out the power of the written word and how communication is not only expressed through spoken word but rather has the ability to be expressed through so many outlets. Seeing direct change through my communication pushed me to pursue a new field in which I can still tell people’s stories and find new ways of communication.

This entire experience, as frustrating and draining as it is, has been the most impactful event of my life. Although I have faced and will continue to face, many challenges because of my vocal disorder, I would not change my circumstances even if I could. This hardship has made me the person that I am today. It has not only made me stronger but has also given me a newfound passion and confidence to help others by telling their stories. I am now able to give others what I am still trying to find within myself: a voice.